wow you have very nice looking hands…… i bet they would look even better wrapped up in mine…..
or around my dick
or clasped together in prayer askin god to help you see the error of your ways
today I burned my tongue on a piece of pizza and I think that it’s a very strong metaphor that sometimes the things you love most in life will hurt you.
And I thought I was lazy…
the bbq sauce one jesus
I’ve been there
Sometimes my mom calls me on the house phone from her cell phone to ask me to get something for her that is much closer to her than it is to me.
My mom wakes me up by yelling at me to feed the cat.
when u accidently type me instead of my
accidentally typing “yeha” instead of “yeah”
accidentally typing olay instead of okay
i cant believe they named an entire dog breed after pitbull
My mum said dinner was ready and I went into the kitchen and it wasn’t even ready I’m sick of all these lies, its tearing our family apart
Don’t tell me. We’re about to go over a huge waterfall
sharp rocks at the bottom?
bring it on